


Pain and suffering (because that's what I was asked for)

by Nife



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coran is kinda a bit cruel?, I don't think he's a bad person, I love that tag, I'm Sorry, I'm a terrible person, Keith is just basically awesome in this, M/M, So True, The others are there but mostly mentioned in passing, also a dude dies in the vacuum of space, author is evil and is comfortable with that, but I think he's had it up to here with some of Shiro's nonsense, lance suffers, none of it is depicted graphically, shiro suffers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8970565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nife/pseuds/Nife
Summary: This is a Shance Secret Santa gift for primarina-yurio!
They asked for suffering and insecure Lance! I did double or nothing and had both Lance and Shiro suffer! It physically hurt me to write this as it dragged out all my own personal pain! I got totally grumpy! It was amazing except in all the ways that it was horrible! Then it was amazingly horrible!
(I really shouldn't be encouraged like this)





	

If there was one thing Lance hated more than absolutely anything else it was being chewed out. Honestly at this point he should be used to it, let it slide off him, yadda, yadda. Nope! Everytime this happened, and let’s be honest he got chewed out more then he recieved any kind of praise. He’d stand there with lips trembling so hard he’d have to bite them to keep them still, eyes burning hot with the attempt to withhold tears. 

 

Didn’t seem to matter who it was shouting, or in Shiro’s case gently chastising him, he was a wreck. 

 

What had he screwed up this time? Well if he was perfectly honest it probably had to do with how he decided to deal with a scumbag pirate. Was that alien...dude a pirate? Honestly Lance couldn’t remember, perhaps it was the closest definition of a pirate as they could get out here in space. 

 

Either way he’d only survived because Blue and Black had gotten out of castle and caught the smaller pod the captain was attempting to escape, with him, on. Apparently the lions could do that? Who knew? Not him. Also why the hell hadn’t Blue done that when they were being captured and Lance was tied to a tree was beyond him. Maybe they just thought it was hilarious and didn’t think Lance was in any particular danger?

 

_ Or maybe he didn’t have that great of a bond with Blue. _

 

Oh god, he could not start thinking that or he would honestly start crying and he’d just held that off for the past half an hour. 

 

“Lance!” Shiro snapped, seeming to lose his cool after he’d asked the younger man the same question twice.

 

“I- yes sir.” Lance replied, having not heard a word of what Shiro had just said but trying to refrain from outing himself. 

 

“Yes sir what, cadet?” Shiro asked, eyes hard and arms folded across his chest. 

 

“I’m-” Lance wracked his brain trying to remember what Shiro had just been talking about. Something about being an idiot or its equivalent. Well the older man wasn’t that mean or anything but-

 

Lance was sort of an idiot. Everyone said so, repeatedly if they could. 

 

“ _ Shit, no! Stop thinking about that! _ ” he mentally chastised himself, already feeling his lips starting to tremble. He could not cry in front of Shiro! That would be just so embarrassing

 

“Lance.” Shiro sighed, “What you did, bringing attention to yourself like that, it was dangerous! You could have been seriously injured or worse! We’re the last hope this universe has against Zarkon, if we die, that’s it.”

 

“I-I know! I just couldn’t let him hit Hunk like that!” Lance cried, well nearly. He managed to restrain himself from actual tears. “He’s my best friend and that- whatever he or it was, it could have seriously done some damage!”

 

“I know Lance but you’re going to have to trust that I, as your leader, will protect the crew. Keith and I had almost gotten out of our restraints and Pidge was already halfway hacked into their system!” Shiro made another of those ‘I’m disappointed but trying not to show it’ noises. 

 

“I just acted on instinct!” Lance snapped back, he really didn’t mean to, not to Shiro of all people but well… he was exhausted. There’s only so much time you can be yelled at before your instincts to fight back or run away kicked in. “It’s okay if Keith or you do that but the moment I do something that isn’t specifically ordered I screw up the entire mission?!” and okay yeah, Shiro was maybe being a little hypocritical. Keith got away with that shit all the time, one time it literally almost cost Keith his life and delayed them long enough for Allura to be captured. Nobody brought it up though, if anything Coran blamed Shiro.

 

“You don’t have enough training to act on instincts!” Shiro shot back cutting straight through Lance’s mulled thoughts. The tears that he’d literally kept back for this entire lecture finally sprung to his eyes, unheeded and rolling down his face like the big baby he felt like. 

 

Oh god.

 

“Per-Permission to be excused sir!” Lance snapped out, and without really waiting for a reply, fled the room like a coward. 

 

He dashed through the halls, avoiding people as best he could, getting to his room and locking the door behind him. He barely managed to get off his helmet before he screamed as loud as his lungs could take. “Idiot! IDIOT!!” Again and again he berated himself, pulling at his hair and just wanting to throw himself off a cliff for being so damned stupid and pathetic. No can do though, right? Lance was a defender of the universe,  _ even if he didn’t belong here _ , the last hope and a destined pilot, _ but maybe that was a  _ **_lie_ ** . 

 

With no anger left hot and fat tears rolled down his cheeks, as utter defeat and despair wracked his knees and his heart. Barely taking a step forward he collapsed onto his bed, half on and legs dangling over the edge, still bloody and bruised. His lecture had been immediately after he’d left Blue, before he’d even gotten out of it’s bey. With hardly more than a whimper Lance passed out. 

 

-

 

If there was one thing that Shiro learnt in his multiple times being a leader of various groups of people and various circumstances it was that he had some pretty bad habbits. Being a terrible example was probably amongst the top. Distancing himself to a point where it hurt his relationships was another. 

 

He hadn’t meant to hurt Lance but he had, never meant to say something so cruel. 

 

Shiro was just scared and instead of doing any of the proper leader or friend or, let’s be honest, decent thing he’d called the kid an idiot for trying to protect his friend from being murdered. 

 

All because the bastard leader of marauders they’d just defeated thought Hunk’d be a great sale to the arena and decided to test out that theory right then. Of course Lance did everything in his power to direct that attention onto himself instead, the leader taking the bait and dragged the young man out of the room. 

 

Pidge had just gotten into their security system and lowered their shields. Having Altean weaponry, however old, open fire upon them had been a very effective distraction. Shiro and Keith launched themselves in unison then split, one team to take control of the ship, the other to go rescue Lance. That had gone remarkably well until they learnt the captain had taken Lance on a smaller vessel and escaped the ship. 

 

What happened next was nothing short of astonishing. Black and Blue flew in perfect sync and not only blocked the pod from escaping but managed to disable it without harming the occupants. After that Pidge and the crew then got on the green lion and went to go save Lance. 

 

That’s when things again took a nosedive. Apparently the ship’s captain played for keeps and repeatedly threatened to kill Lance right then and there. That was a good motivator for the blue paladin who smashed the back of his head against the face of his captor and without even the slightest hesitation hit the airlock and jettisoned them both out into space. 

 

Problem was that Lance didn’t have his helmet. In another display of amazing sync Blue snapped forward and saved their paladin, not bothering to grant the same favor for the captain of the marauders. Gruesome way to die but he had it coming, Shiro wouldn’t shed a tear. 

 

Keith got Hunk into a healing pod and Shiro was supposed to do the same for Lance. Had even reassured everyone that was his intention, and it was, but as soon as he’d seen the kid he’d lost it. Lance was his responsibility that he’d failed. In a single stretch they’d all been captured, Lance was dragged off and then almost died in the vacuum of space. All because he’d lead them into a trap when they followed a distress beacon, which they had learnt later had been scavenged from another long dead ship, onto what seemed like a derelict vessel. 

 

A unmitigated disaster would be a nice way of saying it. 

 

Then Shiro had made it worse. 

 

He had to find Lance, apologize and get him into a healing pod. The boy had been beaten around and jettisoned into the vacuum of space. Shiro just hoped he would answer his door. 

 

Apparently Coran had beat him to it and had managed to coax Lance out of his room and into a healing pod, because when he went there it was empty and smelt terrible. As he approached Shiro met Coran’s eye, the older Altean did not look pleased. 

 

“It was close today.” Was all the older man said. 

 

“To close.” Shiro agreed looking over Lance. “Where’s Hunk?”

 

“He got out a couple ticks ago and Keith and Pidge took him to his room to rest up.” Coran answered and Shiro could feel the coldness of his tone. This was just like Allura, all those months ago.

 

His failure resulting in others suffering.

 

“Shiro,” Coran started, standing straight with his hands behind his back, resting parade stance, “You are the black paladin and leader.” He looked straight at him now and for a second Shiro could feel a sort of… coldness from the older man. Something he didn’t see to often save when the Altean was upset with a decision being made. “As such you have some responsibilities the others do not. While I am certainly not in a position to issue commands or dictate how you lead it greatly displeases me when certain duties are ignored or irresponsibly done.”

 

Slowly Shiro rolled his eyes to Lance’s sleeping figure. “He was… injured, more than bruises?” he didn’t mean to have it sound like a question but his tone belied his fear.

 

“Indeed, it is entirely possible that if he was left any longer without sufficient medical treatment would have resulted in permanent trauma.” Coran answered and, yes, his tone had dropped down to below freezing.

 

“I-” Shiro’s eyes widened and with mounting horror he looked back at the pod.

 

“You were sent to retrieve him and escort him straight here, were you not?” Coran continued as if Shiro wasn’t breaking apart beside him. “I would wonder why it took you so long and then the task was never accomplished at all.”

 

“Coran I didn’t mean-” Shiro tried, knowing it sounded like an excuse.

 

“It does not matter what you meant, only the cause and effect. He could have died and he would have if I hadn’t checked in on him. The injuries resulted in taking after your example! He threw himself into danger to protect the crew and then, in order to not be used as a hostage, he nearly took his own life!” Even if the tone was angry he hadn’t raised his voice all the time he spoke. Crisp and very dangerous but there was some underlining hurt that Shiro couldn’t, for the life of him, place. “I hope you understand the gravity of your actions, here now and in the past. This is an accumulation, not a singular instance.”

 

“Coran I know he got hurt but I can’t-” Shiro stopped, eyes wide as they drifted back to the slumbering figure. “I have to do everything I can to make sure this doesn’t happen. It’s all I can do. Keep moving forward while I try to find a way to make up for… everything.”

 

“And so those who have already been harmed?” Coran prodded none too gently. Like words saved up so long they came out rotten. 

 

“I KNOW! I know it’s all my fault! If I had been better or faster or any number of things no one would have gotten caught or hurt! Just like before…” Shiro just barely resisted punching the pod and disrupting its cycle. 

 

“As long as you understand.” For a second Shiro didn’t recognize the man standing beside him. He wondered idly if Coran saw him either. 

 

It didn’t matter. 

 

With a woosh the pod’s glass case melted away, releasing a cold stream of air upon both men. Lance opened his eyes and blearily looked between the two before falling forward into Shiro’s arms. 

 

“Whoa there buddy! I got you!” Shiro called, cradling him in his arms, amused at the thought of Lance denying it later. 

 

“Shiro… your face…” Lance mumbled. 

 

“He’s delusional, must be the bloodloss.” Coran muttered, chuckling softly under his breath.

 

_ As if he hadn’t just wielded his words like blades. _

 

“Yeah kiddo? What’s up with my face?” Shiro smiled.

 

“Weeeiiird.” Lance drawled out, poking him in between his brows. “Stop frowning or you’ll get a wrinkle right there and you’ll look even older. Got a face mask for that.” 

 

“Thanks.” Shiro chuckled, to relieved that, generally speaking, Lance was going to be fine.

 

“His room is not in a state for him right now.” Coran said, standing. “I’ll get it ready but if you don’t mind please allow him the use of your room.” 

 

“That’s fine.”  _ It’s not as if Shiro’d be able to sleep anyways. _ He picked Lance up, bridal style since he was already holding him that way. “Come on kiddo, let’s get you to bed.” 

 

Softly Lance laid his head on his shoulder, Shiro carrying the younger man in near silence as they headed to the sleeping quarters. They entered Shiro’s room easily and gently he laid Lance down on his bed. He got up to leave but Lance reached out and gripped Shiro’s Galra arm. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Lance nearly whispered, the sound so odd coming from the usually boisterous man. “I’ll try better next time.” 

 

Taking a short breath Shiro smiled and held Lance’s hand. “I want you to consider your life more valuable than you currently do Lance. You’re an asset to the team and… a very good friend to me. I don’t want to lose you.”

 

Slowly blue eyes rolled up to him and a shy smile graced Lance’s lips. “Thank you. You’re important too, to the team as our leader and to me…” he lightly blushed, “a-as a friend.” 

 

“Sleep tight kiddo.” Shiro smiled sincerely. It always amazed him how little of Lance’s presence could ease so much of his own inner turmoil. Though perhaps that was simply what the younger man brought in different ways to different members of the team.

 

Thoughts for later, he might as well go help Coran… though he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to be in his presence for too long. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Thank you so much iceberg-rose for suffering through this entire thing with me (twice) and editing.)
> 
>  
> 
> =D
> 
>  
> 
> It ended on a sorta happy note? Okay so it was pain and suffering for the entire thing. To many headcanons managed to leak into this fic. (God I had to reel myself in so hard here)
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry if anyone doesn’t like what I sorta did with Coran there, just FYI he really wasn’t talking to Shiro alone there. (Wahahahhaha)


End file.
